I'm Having a Hard Time

"Mama, I'm having a hard time.... " - said in the whiniest of voices is something my daughter mummers at least once a week.  Usually close to bed time.  When day is done and we're all tired and doing just that, having a hard time.  Wanting the day to just be over, baths taken, faces washed, clean pj's, tucked tight, asleep.  That's better.

I think these words as I walk through Target.  "I'm having a hard time.... " It's true.  I want to yell at everyone walking around.  Looking at hand towels and Monster Mix.  "DO YOU KNOW!?!" "DO YOU KNOW who just gave his life in service to this country?!?"  "WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THOSE STUPID HAND TOWELS???"  Nobody in this store knows.  I grab my bananas and white grape juice needed for my girls who I'm not sure I've fed in two days.  I look at the check out lady with a blank stare.  Does she know?  Has she any clue about the caliber of the man who gave up everything so she could live a free life?  Does she know anything about the woman, the wife, the mother who must figure out a new life, for herself, for her two young sons?  For years hearts will stay shattered.

There were 7 of them.  Different men.  Different families.  Routine training exercise.  Service to this country.  Service in the United States Marine Corps.  Knocks on 7 doors.  Lives, dreams and hearts shattered.  For wives, sweet small children, for parents.  Do these people care?

I want the bath, the washed face, clean pj's and sleep.  I want it to be better.  For her.  Not for me because I am nothing in this.  I want it for her.  My friend.  A wife who has more grace and beauty than I could ever hope for.  She is an example to us all.  Her positive upbeat happy personality is such that has always drawn others toward her.  But in the face of hell, she stands and is strong for her sons.  In awe.  We should all be.

Happier times.  USMC Birthday Ball 2009. 

Capt. Nate Anderson and his rockstar of a wife, Amanda.

 I had a different post planned for the end of this month.  I'll write that one soon.  I believe right now it's important, for the five people who read this, to please pray for my friend, her sons and the 6 other families who are trying to navigate the hardest few weeks they'll ever face.

My husband and I are sad.  It's true.  We are deeply crushed, but we don't need anything except your prayers and thoughts for them.  At some point a memorial may be set up.  I'll pass that info as I get it.

Sending love to all,

Krista

The Best of 2009

My Grandma (one of the few folks who actually looks at this blog) mentioned I needed more pics on here! So I thought I'd post pictures of my top ten favorite days of 2009. They're in no particular order... except the last one. The last one is by far my favorite day. You'll see when you get there....

But these first nine are all close runners up.

10. Easter Sunday. Spent with dear friends who I had not had time to sit and talk with for a while. It was such a gorgeous day outside and my girlfriends and I sat on Sarah's porch, sipped mimosas and chatted about nothing and everything. We had a small Easter egg hunt for the older kiddos, Brannen napped in my arms and Jesus is Alive!

9. The day we knew our daughter was alright. In Greenville, NC on our faces we prayed for her and we knew. By grace and His wounds we are healed. When the Dr. confirmed what the spirit had already made known we were broken as we had never been before. Soli Deo Gloria.

8. Cole's Celebration. What was a difficult, raw, deeply emotional time for my best friends turned into a celebration of life, grace and love. This little life is one I am truly thankful for. I will hold what he taught me always, in the deepest parts of my heart.

7. Family Reunion. This group of folks knew me before I was born, many of them knew my mother before she was born and a couple knew my grandmother before she was born. To spend an afternoon with them is to be with my roots. To see them hold my daughter is to know what it is to be a part of something bigger.

6. Mike's Farm. If you know me at all, you know I love fall. I like to make chili and carve pumpkins. I like to see the leaves change colors and I love the first few days of mid-60 degree weather. This day we went to Mike's Farm with sweet friends and introduced Brannen to the joys of fall as well. She investigated every pumpkin she could find - she was absolutely enthralled by them! We took a hayride and enjoyed the evening. Then of course, we ate the mac and cheese at the restaurant - and that's why this day made the list.....mmmmmm.

5. My Baby Girl's 1st Birthday party. It wasn't a big deal. We simply invited some friends to the beach. We played in the water and Brannen searched for seashells. The day was a little overcast but enjoyable - it was B's very first Birthday party! :)

4. Homecoming. Duh.

3. Our Armageddon Day. The day before Adam deployed for the second time in about 15 months. It should've been a really sucky day - but it wasn't! Adam and Brannen napped together - (that used to be the only way she'd nap, now I can't get her to cuddle with me to save my life!) We also went to get tattoos! It was so much fun, and we both love them.

2. Valentine's Day. Adam left 5 days before Valentine's - and so did some of my friends husbands so we had a big brunch together at Hannah's house. It ended up being such an uplifting day. I had my daughter, amazing friends and felt so loved!

AND my favorite day of 2009 was...

1. The "Life is Good Today" Day. This was one of those days that just happens. The stars align, the beer flows, music fills, the Mexican sunshine warms and life is good. Especially when Zac Brown sings it. Somehow we stayed in the pool from morning until the sun set, we made friends with French-Canadians and we spoke fluent Spanish. You can't create these days if you try. They just happen, every once in a while. Sometimes you don't even know it when they come, but all the sudden you just look around and realize you're in the middle of living life and life is good.

Happy 2010.

Love you all,

K

Tony

The other day Brannen and I went to dinner at my friend, Lexi's house.  Her daughter, Laila, had a large stuffed bear.  We're talking a huge, 5 foot, white, fuzzy stuffed bear.  Brannen loved it.  She jumped on it, rolled over it, picked at it's eyes, talked to it... it was fun.  So I mention that to my husband.  I told him we need to get Brannen some kind of big stuffed animal.  But not a bear...Laila has a bear...let's get her something different.  My man tells me he's got it covered.  He's on it...he's going to get her something great.  A few days later a box shows up on our doorstep.

"OH Brannen, look!" I say, "You've got a present from Daddy!  This is so exciting!"

I open the box, and Brannen and I are staring at her new pal...Tony.  Tony the Triceratops.

You can't make this stuff up...

They watch Baby Einstein together ever morning.  She loves Tony.  She giggles and squeals at him whenever she first sees him for the day.  I think it's hilarious that my husband sent his 10 month old baby girl a TRICERATOPS!!!

Tony precedes my husband by just one short week.  We pick him up on Friday!

I think Tony is perfect.  Brannen does too. 

Love, 

K

My Smokin' Hot Husband

That's right - I'm a lucky woman!

Adam at TQ, Iraq standing in front of their squadron emblem.  Only two more months to go!  

Sweet Coffee

Ode to Coffee...

Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks - I don't care who

makes my daily cup of brew.

It's the first thing I think of at morning light

it's the last thing to get ready at night.

Whether it's cloudy and cold or warm with sun

a hot mug of joe, and I can function.

At home in the states or deployed to the Middle East

we always both think, "I've got my coffee, at least."

 - Krista  :)