Saturday, February 25, 2012

I'm Having a Hard Time

"Mama, I'm having a hard time.... " - said in the whiniest of voices is something my daughter mummers at least once a week.  Usually close to bed time.  When day is done and we're all tired and doing just that, having a hard time.  Wanting the day to just be over, baths taken, faces washed, clean pj's, tucked tight, asleep.  That's better.

I think these words as I walk through Target.  "I'm having a hard time.... " It's true.  I want to yell at everyone walking around.  Looking at hand towels and Monster Mix.  "DO YOU KNOW!?!" "DO YOU KNOW who just gave his life in service to this country?!?"  "WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THOSE STUPID HAND TOWELS???"  Nobody in this store knows.  I grab my bananas and white grape juice needed for my girls who I'm not sure I've fed in two days.  I look at the check out lady with a blank stare.  Does she know?  Has she any clue about the caliber of the man who gave up everything so she could live a free life?  Does she know anything about the woman, the wife, the mother who must figure out a new life, for herself, for her two young sons?  For years hearts will stay shattered.

There were 7 of them.  Different men.  Different families.  Routine training exercise.  Service to this country.  Service in the United States Marine Corps.  Knocks on 7 doors.  Lives, dreams and hearts shattered.  For wives, sweet small children, for parents.  Do these people care?

I want the bath, the washed face, clean pj's and sleep.  I want it to be better.  For her.  Not for me because I am nothing in this.  I want it for her.  My friend.  A wife who has more grace and beauty than I could ever hope for.  She is an example to us all.  Her positive upbeat happy personality is such that has always drawn others toward her.  But in the face of hell, she stands and is strong for her sons.  In awe.  We should all be.

Happier times.  USMC Birthday Ball 2009. 
Capt. Nate Anderson and his rockstar of a wife, Amanda.

 I had a different post planned for the end of this month.  I'll write that one soon.  I believe right now it's important, for the five people who read this, to please pray for my friend, her sons and the 6 other families who are trying to navigate the hardest few weeks they'll ever face.

My husband and I are sad.  It's true.  We are deeply crushed, but we don't need anything except your prayers and thoughts for them.  At some point a memorial may be set up.  I'll pass that info as I get it.

Sending love to all,