Saturday, February 25, 2012

I'm Having a Hard Time

"Mama, I'm having a hard time.... " - said in the whiniest of voices is something my daughter mummers at least once a week.  Usually close to bed time.  When day is done and we're all tired and doing just that, having a hard time.  Wanting the day to just be over, baths taken, faces washed, clean pj's, tucked tight, asleep.  That's better.

I think these words as I walk through Target.  "I'm having a hard time.... " It's true.  I want to yell at everyone walking around.  Looking at hand towels and Monster Mix.  "DO YOU KNOW!?!" "DO YOU KNOW who just gave his life in service to this country?!?"  "WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THOSE STUPID HAND TOWELS???"  Nobody in this store knows.  I grab my bananas and white grape juice needed for my girls who I'm not sure I've fed in two days.  I look at the check out lady with a blank stare.  Does she know?  Has she any clue about the caliber of the man who gave up everything so she could live a free life?  Does she know anything about the woman, the wife, the mother who must figure out a new life, for herself, for her two young sons?  For years hearts will stay shattered.

There were 7 of them.  Different men.  Different families.  Routine training exercise.  Service to this country.  Service in the United States Marine Corps.  Knocks on 7 doors.  Lives, dreams and hearts shattered.  For wives, sweet small children, for parents.  Do these people care?

I want the bath, the washed face, clean pj's and sleep.  I want it to be better.  For her.  Not for me because I am nothing in this.  I want it for her.  My friend.  A wife who has more grace and beauty than I could ever hope for.  She is an example to us all.  Her positive upbeat happy personality is such that has always drawn others toward her.  But in the face of hell, she stands and is strong for her sons.  In awe.  We should all be.

Happier times.  USMC Birthday Ball 2009. 
Capt. Nate Anderson and his rockstar of a wife, Amanda.

 I had a different post planned for the end of this month.  I'll write that one soon.  I believe right now it's important, for the five people who read this, to please pray for my friend, her sons and the 6 other families who are trying to navigate the hardest few weeks they'll ever face.

My husband and I are sad.  It's true.  We are deeply crushed, but we don't need anything except your prayers and thoughts for them.  At some point a memorial may be set up.  I'll pass that info as I get it.

Sending love to all,



  1. Krista, this is beautiful. Oh, sweet Amanda has so much love and so many prayers going out to her from sea to shining sea. RIP Nate.

  2. Krista, I always love your blog. Thanks for posting this. We love yall and are so thankful for you guys. Thanks for daily giving your lives for our freedom. Miss you!! Oh, and I LOVED your post about the hospital stay....(not that yall were in the hospital but more that you stood up to the doctors against the steroids and gatorade:) ) you are a fantastic mom.

  3. WOW! I am sitting here with tears filled in my eyes. WHat a beautiful post and tribute to this courageous man and his beautiful family. I will be praying for Amanda and her 2 boys. I can NOT imagine going through that loss and pain. I pray that they will feel the warmth of Jesus' arms wrapping around each one of them, Peace in the midst of a storm, love when they just don't feel like they can go on living. What a blessing for them to have yall at this time of sorrow. We love you guys. And please tell his wife "thank you for EVERYTHING you have given for mine and my families freedom"!

  4. Thank you for putting our "hard times" in perspective. Michelle Moyer

  5. Beautiful Krista, thank you for writing this, you put it into words so well, the feelings I have right now,

  6. Sometimes the sorrow and the pain is just too deep to allow it to remain on the surface of our minds and our hearts for too long, perhaps fearing that we just can't survive it's anguish. Each loss is a reminder that we are simply "jars of clay". These strong men and their families are connected to us all through the spirit of our creator, and He alone can bring understanding...but not until the last day. I am so sorry for the loss of the best of the best, and their families and also to you and Adam.