I'm Having a Hard Time

"Mama, I'm having a hard time.... " - said in the whiniest of voices is something my daughter mummers at least once a week.  Usually close to bed time.  When day is done and we're all tired and doing just that, having a hard time.  Wanting the day to just be over, baths taken, faces washed, clean pj's, tucked tight, asleep.  That's better.

I think these words as I walk through Target.  "I'm having a hard time.... " It's true.  I want to yell at everyone walking around.  Looking at hand towels and Monster Mix.  "DO YOU KNOW!?!" "DO YOU KNOW who just gave his life in service to this country?!?"  "WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THOSE STUPID HAND TOWELS???"  Nobody in this store knows.  I grab my bananas and white grape juice needed for my girls who I'm not sure I've fed in two days.  I look at the check out lady with a blank stare.  Does she know?  Has she any clue about the caliber of the man who gave up everything so she could live a free life?  Does she know anything about the woman, the wife, the mother who must figure out a new life, for herself, for her two young sons?  For years hearts will stay shattered.

There were 7 of them.  Different men.  Different families.  Routine training exercise.  Service to this country.  Service in the United States Marine Corps.  Knocks on 7 doors.  Lives, dreams and hearts shattered.  For wives, sweet small children, for parents.  Do these people care?

I want the bath, the washed face, clean pj's and sleep.  I want it to be better.  For her.  Not for me because I am nothing in this.  I want it for her.  My friend.  A wife who has more grace and beauty than I could ever hope for.  She is an example to us all.  Her positive upbeat happy personality is such that has always drawn others toward her.  But in the face of hell, she stands and is strong for her sons.  In awe.  We should all be.

Happier times.  USMC Birthday Ball 2009. 

Capt. Nate Anderson and his rockstar of a wife, Amanda.

 I had a different post planned for the end of this month.  I'll write that one soon.  I believe right now it's important, for the five people who read this, to please pray for my friend, her sons and the 6 other families who are trying to navigate the hardest few weeks they'll ever face.

My husband and I are sad.  It's true.  We are deeply crushed, but we don't need anything except your prayers and thoughts for them.  At some point a memorial may be set up.  I'll pass that info as I get it.

Sending love to all,

Krista

WRBNMMC

Sometimes the military is out of control with acronyms.  Who thinks this stuff up?!?

WRBNMMC - on everything, all over the place.

Walter Reed Bethesda National Military Medical Center.

For real.

Why can't we just drop some words?

Who knows?

Anyway, we were there all weekend.  With my youngest.

She's fine.  We're not completely out of the woods, there's a few more tests to do, but she's good.

But on Thursday we didn't know.

I think the first phone call from ENT Dr. B up at WRBNMMC went something close to this, "I'm not telling you to speed, but maybe just drive fast.  Come now.  Pack some clothes, bottles and whatever you need but just get here.  Straight to the ER, I'll have ENT and PEDS waiting for you."

We sped.  Through 4:00 rush hour in Northern VA, WDC and Eastern MD... a.k.a. Traffic Corridor of the World.

Once we got there they determined her life was actually not in immediate danger (thankyouverymuch for the heart attack), but they still needed to figure some stuff out.

So there we stayed.  At WRBNMMC, for 3 days.

Hospitals suck.  If you want some perspective on how bad you in fact DO NOT have it, go spend some time at Walter-Reed Bethesda.  Take your fair share of fortitude.  You'll need it.

But there we were.  We drove her around in this car to pass the time.  Which was a bit of deja vu.

We found the play room.  She tried to eat the puzzles.

I don't do well in hospitals.  I don't trust or really even like doctors.  I start to feel a special kinship to the Mama in the picture frame above my baby girl's hospital crib.  I start ripping people's heads off for messing with my kid.  Which is bad news in a hospital.  For everyone really.  Me included.  Sometimes it's people's job to mess.

One Dr. had me pegged the minute we walked in the door.  After talking with me for maybe 30 minutes, he walked in our room and said to my rockstar of a husband, "Well, Mr. Weathers, you've picked a real sweet wife... not only has she disagreed with everything I've said or mentioned, but she managed to turn whatever was in that bag into something acceptable for us to feed your daughter."

Adam just laughed and nodded.

He tried to tell me to give her gatorade.

"What... that's like high fructose corn syrup concentrate.  No way!"

"Ok, Mrs. Weathers, we've got apple juice back there.  Can we give her some of that?"

"Is it organic apple juice?"

"No."

"Then no.  Don't you watch the news.  Ever heard of arsenic?"

"Well... then she can't have anything.  Clear liquids only and that's all we have to offer you."

"Tell you what, Doc.  How bout I give her this organic grape juice box (that I had in my bag for Brannen) mixed half with this water bottle... you can still see through it.... will that work?"

"Uhhh... sure.... I guess."

Then the Dr. said, "We may have to give her some Prednisolone (steroid)."

Then I said.  "No, Sir."

He gave up.  Poor guy.  Docs don't really care for me much either I'm afraid.

Complete disclosure.  I need doctors and my children need doctors, I'm grateful for them.  With my whole heart.  I thank God for some of the special doctors he's placed in mine and my kids lives.  The good ones are worth more than gold.  Even with the bad ones, I always try my hardest to stay respectful. I really do.  I promise...

The other thing that stinks about hospitals is that there is no sleep to be had.  At.  All.  I finally started sitting on the floor in front of our hospital room door to ward off any would be interrupters of my daughters desperately needed slumber.  The vitals lady came by, "sorry, she's sleeping, please come again!"  The nurse with her Motrin, "pretty sure whatever pain she was in isn't bothering her now... because she's asleep... I'll let you know when she wakes up."  -  "Well, Mrs. Weathers, she's due for it now.... "  "No, no she isn't."

 Me and sweet baby at about 8:00 on Friday morning.  I'm going on literally 27 hours of no sleep in this picture.  By the time I went to sleep I think I was on about hour 40.

Daddy came to the rescue.  With his bright smile and coffee!

By the time I am done officially "mothering" my daughters I hope I will have instilled in them a gratefulness for health.  It's something that, until it's gone, appreciativeness is often lacking.  I am so grateful for the healthy girls and husband that I have.  Others are less fortunate and my heart aches for them.  I also realize that at any moment, that could just as easily be us.

We roomed down the hall from a 3 year old cancer patient who wouldn't take off his Captain America costume because it made him stronger for the chemo...

So grateful.  Humbled.

Love, Krista

Tea Party

I took Brannen to a Dolly, Me & Tea party yesterday evening.  It was held by the Marine Corps Base Quantico LINKS ladies.  My friend was taking her daughter and mentioned it to me, I LOVED the idea, so I signed us up! Brannen's not really a very "girly-girl" but she knows tea parties.  She was excited ALL day.  She knew she had to wait for Daddy to get home and as soon as he walked in the door, she ran up to me and said, "Mama!!!  I'm so excited to go to the tea party now!!"

I originally had some sparkly pink shoes for her to wear, but her feet grew in the three days between when I got them and yesterday, because when it came time to get dressed the sparkly pink shoes hurt her feet.  A girl can't go to a tea party with feet that hurt.  So we improvised.  What we wound up with was a Punky Brewster kind of look, but I actually think it looks cute on B.  Bedazzled, painted converse sneakers, multi-colored leg warmers, a pouffy pink dress and pig tails.  Ugggh, she breaks my heart she's so cute.

Brannen also doesn't really have a doll that she just babies and loves.  What she does have is an ovajita (a little lamb).  Aunt Laura sent it to Brannen on her first birthday and she has slept with it pretty much every night since.  She wound up taking Ovajita.  I asked her to pick out a baby doll to take to have tea with us and that's what she picked out.  "Ok, sweet girl, that'll be perfect."  Gotta let her be her, ya know.

Ovajita got to enjoy some tea as well.

When we got there they had set a special table aside for Brannen and her friend Kendall (and one other girl) since they were the only 3 year olds in attendance.  It was sweet.  And perfect.  And they did a few crafts.  Even more perfect.

They tried so hard to act proper.  Why does having tea make someone want to act proper?  I mean, these girls are three, THREE years old and totally had that notion.  Maybe it's something in girls.  It was to die for sweet.

This baby girl.  She's my love.  Can I hit pause?

Thankful for the Grace and the man that gave her to me.

Sending love,

Krista

My New Years Resolution

Actually I have two of them.

1. I'm going to start blogging again.  Woohooo!!!  I know all 5 of you are so excited.  It's been good, the time (the year and a half!) away from feeling the pressure to write on here.  But over the Christmas vacation we were able to get back to Texas and see family.  People wanted occasional updates.  Folks asked for more photos of my daughters.  What can I say, I have cute babies.  A blog just happens to be the easiest way to deliver.  The best way for our extended friends and family to keep up with us.  A la, blogging hiatus over.

Trying to commit to two or three posts a month.  So far so good!

2. My other new years resolution.  I've decided to read one non-fiction book a month.  It can't have anything to do with being a good wife, mom or even a good Christian.... just something I'm interested in.  This month I read, "American Sniper" by Chris Kyle.  The self written story of the deadliest sniper in American military history.  Whoa.  Good read.  I wish it were on some sort of mandatory reading list for all Americans.    

His wife, Taya, adds some commentary as well.  I like her.

Disclaimer: The language is bad.  But as it goes with most men in the military.  It's written like he's talking to you.  Don't judge.  Just read it.


Speaking of guns and people who use them.  We've been working really hard on teaching Brannen a simplified version of the four rules of firearm safety.  1. It's loaded  2. Finger off the trigger  3. Only point the gun at the bad guys or an animal.  4. Be sure of your backstop.  Here, I was a robber.  Robber = a bad guy.  So therefore, she's within the guidelines.

Over Christmas, Adalene got to meet her Uncle Jarod.

My girls got to spend time with their great-grandmothers and their great-great grandmother.

 Adam killed us a deer.  We like venison.  We're from Texas thankyouverymuch.

Ahhh!  Gross......

 Brannen became obsessed with taking photos with my camera.  Coincidentally she took this kinda artsy pic of an air vent.  I was impressed!

That's all for now.

All is grace, praise Jesus.  Looking forward to sharing more of our life with y'all this year.  Happy 2012!

Sending love,

Krista

5 Things I Love About the Marine Corps - I Married A Pilot Edition!

5 things I love about the Marine Corps....

How I know I married a Pilot:

1. Because the other day my husband looked at me and said, "I'm just gonna go to work, write an ATF, then RTB ASAP via the SOP." Without batting an eye I looked up and said, "Sounds good, babe." And then I realized I had understood the entire sentence.

Translation: "I'm just gonna go to work, write an Aviation Training Form, then Return To Base (home) As Soon As Possible via the Standard Operational Procedure."

2. Because when we're both in the bathroom trying to get showers taken, and he hops in there first, then asks me if I want to "hot seat it" I say "yep." And then we execute the POA.

Translation: In helicopters when two pilots are switching out the "pilot seat" rather than shutting everything down to trade off, they frequently will "hot seat it" meaning they leave the engine running, the blades turning, etc... So when we "hot seat" the shower we leave the water running and execute the *ahem* Plan Of Attack. - That acronym was for free. :)

3. Because my daughter at 20 months old, could differentiate between a "choppa" or a "pwane" by sound only - and at almost 24 months old can differentiate between a Huey and an Osprey.

4. Because when my man was at WTI (yet another acronym, Weapons and Tactics Instructor) training in Yuma, AZ flying some pretty scary/rigorous missions at night I liked to know that he landed safely on the ground. So every night, he would text me, SODB. And I would look for that text first thing every morning.

Translation: "Safe On Deck, Babe."

5. Because when I was telling him that I was writing this blog post on, "how I know I married a pilot" this is the look he gave me, while asking "What?".... "Gee, Babe, if your flight suit or wings don't give it away, I bet your aviators will!" :)

All kidding aside - the main reason "I know I married a pilot" is because I have a husband who goes to work everyday and has a blast at what he does, which makes for a happy man, which makes for a happy wife. He's just "livin' the dream" as he says.

Love you all,

Krista

Five for Fridays! Five More Reasons Why I Love the USMC....

May I present, 5 more reasons:

1. A man in uniform who just walked "in the door" from a 7 month long deployment....

2. A man in uniform that can show his non-military buddies how to work really expensive equipment (ie, the Huey simulator) when they come into town.

3. A man in uniform that'll walk right in from a hard days work and feed his baby girl her much needed bottle, so her mama can snap a quick pic, then go take a hot bubble bath.

4. A man in uniform who'll throw up a peace sign in the middle of a combat zone. :)

5. A man in uniform that'll show his daughter how to work really expensive equipment (ie, the actual Huey) when she comes to visit him at work.

I mean, seriously - you just gotta love a man in uniform.

I know I sure do!

Love you all,

Krista

Five for Fridays! Five Things I Love About the USMC.

I decided to start a new series on the ol' blog. Maybe it'll keep me on here a little more regularly. Every Friday I'm going to write five things that I love about living life in the USMC. It shouldn't be hard, there's a lot to love!

Sometimes I feel like it's almost a "wife's right" to complain about the Marine Corps... and don't get me wrong, I certainly do my share of huffing and puffing when it comes to crazy hours, last minute plan changes, frequent extended separations, surprises around every corner, etc.... (I mean I really could go on). But I want to be clear about the fact that without THIS job, without my husband serving in the United States Marine Corps, we would not have the life we have. And I LOVE this life. It's good, it's a lot of fun, it's hard sometimes, it can turn on a dime, but we love it.

So for today:

1. Payday! Today is payday, and those gorgeous, wonderful, maternity clothes buying, paychecks just keep on comin'!

2. Job Security - He can't quit.... it's called AWOL.

3. Her health.

Because when she was born with a serious case of meconium aspiration and needed oxygen, then to be transported to a different hospital, then a 4 night stay in a NICU, and IV's, and X-rays, not for one single second did the question of money enter into our minds.

Because when she started having seizures and she needed EEG's, an MRI, meds, tests, and many MANY visits with Pediatric Neurologists, it didn't even occur to us to think about the costs associated with any of it.

Because there are moms and dads out there that really have to weigh the costs of a particular medical test, or medicine, or length of a hospital stay based on what they can afford and how great the need is.

Because we've never even had to give it a second thought.

Because if we ever did have to give it a second thought, I don't know what on earth I would do. We're talking about her. My daughter. Her health.

Because one time, we got a statement in the mail, with a dollar amount that reached into the multiple tens of thousands, and had a big fat red-inked stamp on it that marked it paid.

I saved that statement, and look at it sometimes when I become disgruntled.

Then I say, "Thank you, Lord. Amen." And I move on.

4. USAA. It's a great banking service available to military members. They have great customer service and wonderful auto-insurance rates.

And last but not least for today....

5. The official dog of the USMC many people believe to be a bulldog. But it's not. It's a......

Doberman Pinscher!

Cool, huh?!?

Hannah certainly thinks so. :)

Love you all,

Krista